Being single is not a free pass to become wreckless. Or maybe it fucking is.

I think that if I had the ability to write a love song everyday, a good love song, my heart ache would stop.

"When you're sleepin' with someone who doesnt get you,

You're gonna hate yourself in the mornin'.." - Jenny Lewis

Mr. Payestewa

Well life on the rez is definitely strange without my Hopi confidant, Robert Jay Payestewa Daugherty.

I owe so much to him as a friend and a brother. His departure was sad, and humbling when you look at it from a distance. People here vanish. No telling when you'll see them again. My suite mate, Mazie, took off the other day back to Arizona. Her grandmother needed her back at home. She was the only one on my birthday night that was down to go out with me to do whatever I wanted. Before anyone, before my bestfriend. (Aside from Jay). She took pictures the whole night and really treated me like a niece or daughter figure. You find those kind of people here. That got you.

..My room-mate saying "You don't let anyone ruin your good time". She said that with such power.

Hopefully I won't have to leave anytime soon.

I'll be here when Jay comes back.

The Things We Love.

http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2009/01/17-things-i-love-by-neko-case.html

This is an article from Paste Magazine on Neko Case and the 17 things that she loves.

She and I share the same love for certain things like Canada, Bats, the Native American author Sherman Alexie, Iced Tea, and Remembering Dreams.. I want to make a list like this one.

Neko is so hilarious. And her music is medicinal and deep, she is truly one of my heroes.

I wonder if this is the greyhound she mentions in the article that got cancer and had to have a leg amputated. I like when she says that dogs live for today. We could all learn something from dogs whether you like them or not. We are the same as them.

This is something good to read pre-Valentines. And something good to compose yourself as a reminder.. Because we all know Valentines Day sucks.

Disconnected

I've been so sick this week.

I make people angry.

I've got a friend that brings me back to ground level. She has faith in me.

And takes note of good quotes like this.

"He who binds to himself a joy does the winged life destroy; But he who kisses
the joy as it flies Lives in eternity's sun rise."

-William Blake

I feel better.

Fear & Love

The year has taken me by surprise.
So far, I've looked at it completely different: A time for me.
At first I attempted to deny New Years as anything spectacular, but really thinking that way just fucked myself up. I gave it a shot, took some shots. And. New Years isn't anything spectacular.
Although, I have had all these preconceived notions of what is ultimately happening within me.. in this new year, two emotions seem to never leave me.
Fear and Love.
Happy New Year.